Long have we put up with restaurants doing maddening gimmicks as an attempt to rake in customers.
Todays monstrosity is an unknown restaurant that has tables covered in grass.
No, not a few errant blades of grass.
A full on sheet of grass and mud resting atop each dining table.
Why? We truly have no idea. Maybe its supposed to reflect the foods earthy tones. Maybe its marketing the spot as a farm to table dining experience.
Redditor SkyUnderMyFeet shared a photo of the tables with the simple plea: We want… tables.
Sadly, they have not stated which restaurant these tables belong to, but they have clarified that the table toppers are not astroturf, writing: By the way, this isnt even fake turf. Its real grass, dirt and all.
The thread has been flooded with questions and general confusion, naturally.
One person asked: Does someone water the tables? Like halfway through the meal, they bring out a sprinkler?
Dirt is dirty, wrote another. It belongs on the ground, not the dinner table. Its disgusting.
Those sentiments are shared on over on Instagram, where browncardigan captioned their photo of the grassy tables with: Melbourne. What the f*** is wrong with you? We get it. You are the brains-trust capital of Australia for self-gratifying, capitalist ethics.
Can you please stop trying to one up yourselves? When does it become the sustainability olympics? Will Melbourne get the bronze, silver and gold for useless burger shop fit-outs?
We get it! Organic is good, buy local. F*** the big supermarkets. Plastic bags = bad. But what the f*** does turf on tables somehow prove? How is that hygienic? GTFO. I am triggered so hard by this shit. Ok im done.
It seems like the grass tables might not be a permanent fixture, but some kind of stunt to promote a restaurants dedication to the environment or whatnot.
But that still doesnt justify propping plates on grass.
Please, think of the hayfever sufferers. Let us eat our chips in peace.