Are you sick of eating humdrum bowls of veg and houmous?
Do you wish you could inject some magic into your breakfast?
Do you often think there just aren’t enough penis-shaped foods around?
Well, friends, Peen Cuisine is here to satisfy all your wildest food porn needs.
Created by artist and food stylist Lauren Hom, Peen Cuisine is a blog dedicated to all foods d*ck-shaped.
‘We think good sex and good food aren’t just things that make life; they’re the things that make it worth living,’ she says.
‘We know that sometimes you’re in the mood for fine cuisine and sometimes you’re in the mood for fine peen, and we think you should treat yourself more often. We truly believe the world would be a better place if everyone felt a little more, well, satisfied.
‘So we’re on a mission to share recipes that whet the appetite (among other things). Our goal is to help you whip up quick, tasty treats that inspire you to jump right back in between the sheets.’
All their recipes are vegetarian and consist of fewer than eight ingredients and take less than an hour to prepare.
‘Because let’s be honest, there’s really only one type of meat you need to survive (Hint: it’s not beef).’
Oh, and before you start winging about the lack of vaginas on show here, chill out.
This blog is a peen-feast, yes, but Lauren says that the blog ‘is here to celebrate the men, women and non-binary folks who are down with the D’.
‘We’ve got plans to test out some vagine cuisine in our kitchen very soon though, so stay tuned.’
You find all Peen Cuisine’s recipes here.